How to Improve Decision Making Skills in Everyday Life

Why Decision-Making is Difficult

Understanding the problem is a good start before fixing it. We’re “bad at choosing” so decisions never feel hard. They are hard to feel for reasons that are only too human.

So many options. More choices can seem like freedom but can easily lead to overwhelm. If everything seems possible, then nothing seems quite right.

Afraid of getting it wrong. Many people don’t make a decision because they are afraid of regret. The irony is that failing to make a decision is a decision and often the most expensive one.

Poor priorities. If you don’t know what matters most to you, all options look equally good or bad.

Emotional noise. We can be subtly nudged into decisions by stress, tiredness, excitement and anxiety without us even realizing.

Mental exhaustion. Decision making uses up finite mental energy. By the end of a long day of small decisions, even the easy ones feel heavy.

External pressure. Your own judgment can be drowned out by family expectations, social comparison, and what other people think.

The first step in making a more confident choice is figuring out which one of these applies to you.

Step 1: Define your priorities

And if you don’t know what to choose for, you can’t choose well. If you have a compass, sorting options are easier, which are priorities.

Ask yourself, What do I really want from this choice? See if you can pinpoint your top two or three values, like financial security, family time, growth, health, freedom or peace of mind.

Another good question to ask yourself is: “What will I wish I had chosen in five years? This changes your focus from short term comfort to long term meaning.

The Top Three Filter Exercise
Write down the decision you have to make. Then write down everything that matters to you in it and circle only your top three. Any option you are considering should be measured against these three. It falls down the list however attractive it looks if it does not serve them.

Step 2: Get the Right Information

More information isn’t always a good thing. Good decisions are made with enough relevant information, not endless research.

Think about:

• What do I need to know to make this a good decision?
• What do I know already?
• Who has been through something like this and can give some real experience?
• What am I avoiding that might be uncomfortable to know?

Beware of two traps. First, analysis paralysis, forever researching, never committing. The second is confirmation bias, looking only for the facts that support what you already want to believe.

Exercise 70% Rule

Define a limit before you start your research. When you have about 70% of the information you want to have, you are usually ready to make a decision. Waiting for 100% often means waiting forever and by then the opportunity is gone.

Step 3: Think About Your Options Carefully

Once you have your priorities and have gathered enough information, it is time to compare. Lay out your options side by side and ask how each compares to your top priorities.

We often say at Sukanya Life Coach that the good decisions are made by slowing down at this very stage. It’s all too easy to grab the first option that looks good enough, but a few minutes spent honestly comparing can save you months of regret.

Some ways to compare favorably:

• List pros and cons. Not all points have the same weight. A single serious con can trump five minor pros.
• Choose the ‘good enough’ option. The search for the best option can prevent you from choosing at all.
• Real options: Think about the option of doing nothing and be honest about the cost.
• Seek the advice of a wise friend. You often get clarity on advice you can’t see for yourself when you think about it for someone else.

Exercise Two column test

Draw a line down a sheet of paper. Put what you get from each option on the left. Write what you give up on the right hand. Then ask yourself, “What trade off feels best for me?” The answer will often come.

Step 4: Control Your Emotions

Emotion is not the enemy of good decision-making. They have useful info about what you care about. This is where the problem begins when strong feelings take over completely.

Some practical habits:

• Never make decisions at your emotional peak. If you are angry, anxious or wildly excited pause before.
• How does it feel? Saying “I’m anxious about this” takes away its power.
• Sleep on major decisions. A problem will often look different after a night’s sleep.
• Know your facts from fear. Question: Is it a real danger or is it just a scary feeling?

Exercise: The 10-10-10 Test

Ask yourself how you will feel about this decision in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years. Most strong feelings shrink under this lens, helping you see what really matters.

Step 5: Assess the Risks

There’s always some risk involved in any choice. The goal isn’t to remove risk, but to understand it and decide whether you can live with it.

Ask yourself this:

• What’s the worst case scenario?
• What’s the chance?
• If it happened, could I get over it?
• Is this decision reversible or irreversible?

It’s worth noting that some decisions are like swinging doors – easy to walk back through if they don’t pan out. Others are like locked doors, hard or impossible to unlock. Handle them in another way. Make quick decisions on reversible decisions and slow down on permanent decisions.

Exercise: The Plan of the Worst Case

Write out the worst possible outcome of your choosing, and then write out how you would respond if it happened. Even a rough backup plan can make the risk feel much more manageable.

Step 6: Learn from your past decisions

If you think about it, your judgment only gets better with experience. Most people go through life making good decisions, bad decisions, and not asking themselves what they learned from the experience.

And judge your decisions based on the process, not the outcome. Sometimes a good choice goes wrong because of bad luck, and sometimes a bad choice works out by chance. Don’t just learn the outcome, learn the why of the outcome.

Exercise: The Decision Log

Write down the times when you make meaningful decisions:

• What you chose and why you chose
• What you thought would happen
• How you felt then

Revisit it in a few weeks, or months. You’ll see these trends over time, like rushing decisions when tense or ignoring your intuition, that help you grow.